1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
6. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
8. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
9. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
10. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
11. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
12. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
6. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
8. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
9. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
10. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
11. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
12. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Hi Natasha. I love this!!! I had so much fun reading these. They cracked me up. LOL. I loved #8, about spending the first 2 years of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk, then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up. HA HA. That is too funny. I feel that way with my 16 year old twins sometimes. LOL. Thank you for posting "Food For Thought". I needed to laugh today. Have a wonderful week. Hugs, Jenny :)
ReplyDeleteWow this was a cool posting it was a good laugh, loved the one where the men have only two emotions!
ReplyDeleteCristina